Topic of the Moment
What's your favorite color? Another banner year. Of football and art.
Dear Friends,
When I came to Oklahoma, everybody told me I would have to declare whether I was orange or crimson. They weren’t talking about my aura. They were, of course, talking about football. OSU or OU. Now, I admit, that if you show me anything in the color orange, I will probably buy it, which is why I had plenty of strangers back-slapping me with a smile after I moved here, since I have lots of orange clothes…only to receive puzzled looks when I said I’d just been to OU (crimson), job-hunting.
I confused them even more when, after finding out why they were so jolly and then so perplexed, I explained I don’t like football. Many a person shook their head and said, “Well, you’ll just have to get to like it and then choose.” Choose what? Why, crimson or orange, OU or OSU.
Now I confess I just don’t get football, and I never did. I am an aging hippie, and I still don’t get why grown men want to run around on a field and try to knock each other down, violently. Having known some folks whose lives were threatened by the sport, I really don’t get it. I think I only went to one football game in high school and that was because my mom had made me a very cool outfit for fall. Although she made it for me to wear to football games, and although I loved the outfit (had my high school graduation picture taken in it), I just wasn’t interested in football games. I’m still not.
You can imagine the yawn for me when the Super Bowl came to town. I fortunately had one retail job (bookstore) where it was my job to create Anti-Super Bowl parties for the bookish, non-sporting types. This always drew a crowd of women looking to escape the testosterone-filled chips-and-beer party at home. We had chair massages, invited romance authors, ate strawberries dipped in chocolate. And joked about men. (You know how women can be!)
I lucked out that most of my boyfriends, although big burly guys, cared more about music and art than sports. In fact, it’s through some of them that I heard stuff that made me like football even less. (Some were forced to play because of their size.) Although I understand the positives of teamwork and working hard toward a goal, I still can’t relate to the “beat ‘em up” mentality nor the fact that coaches would scream and belittle their players. That is another thing I just don’t get. You don’t have to abuse people to make them men…or a women.
Now, I’ll tell you the truth. I get it now, that some folks, my dad included, never could understand the worth of art. My dad thought art was a waste of time and couldn’t make you a living. Although I disagreed with him then, his attitude somehow sunk into me, and I regret to this day that I didn’t become an artist. But I understand what he was saying, which is that he didn’t get the worth of art anymore than I got the worth of football.
Sometimes I think it would be preferable if football and certain other games were used instead of war, kind of like in the James Caan movie “Rollerball” from 1975. Younger folks may remember the 2002 version with LL Cool J and Chris Klein. But, even so, soccer fans in Europe react to that extreme during and after certain important games. I say “important”. They aren’t, really. But if football games were used in place of war, I guess they would be important. And then, of course, Oklahoma would be at war with Texas. And then, of course, I’d stop wearing orange in public, just in case…
What are your thoughts?
By the way, here’s a reminder that we are going into a year such as we haven’t had since 1928. Although there will be some growth, we can expect things to get pretty rocky and rebellious around Memorial Day. We have two and a half years coming of pressure from relationships—or the law. It started the end of last year, which was why you saw so much talk about marriage, cheating, and the like on the “large stage”, as I like to call it. And of course, the Patriot Act clamp-down is back on for the next couple of years. I tell people, to go with the flow and use the energies in a good way: write a book and get published, go to relationship therapy, OR go to law or design or even beauty school! This is a time to practice meditation (and mediation!) and harmony within, so it will be reflected around you.
If you feel you’re spinning your wheels, be patient till March and then the floodgates will open. We will have period bursts throughout the year and the first/second week of March and the end of May/beginning of June will be tough. If we can make it through that, we can make it…so hold on! I usually say Life is like surfing…sometimes it’s calm, sometimes the waves are rocky, and sometimes it’s the Big Kahuna. For the next couple of years, I shall liken life to riding a bucking bronco. Sometimes you get a dud, but beware, because this next may be the ride of your life. So HANG ON TIGHT!!!
Have a great month! And enjoy the Super Bowl Day, whatever you do!
Love ya,
Andrea (the Booklady)
Booklovers who want to follow me on Twitter can go to http://www.twitter.com/akathebooklady . Star lovers can find me at http://www.twitter.com/auramouth and folks who just love to talk can find me at http://www.twitter.com/communicateok .
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Home Home on the Range
Bet you've been wondering about me...or not!
I've been livin' in my little house on the prairie, had an absolutely smashing garden this year (so much so that I'm probably going to write a squash cookbook), and have recreated a 1920's art house in my little corner of the world. In the past year, I lost my beloved doggie Deva, moved, started working the "Coast to Coast" shift, and had some great times learning about do-it-yourself-ing and gardening/yardwork with my super-amazing parents. Mom and Dad and I just hosted the HMR 163 Marine Reunion in October. Veteran helicopter pilots (called the "Ridgerunners") from the Korean War and their lovely wives came to OKC to find out Okies ain't hokey! Our joke on them! We had a fabulous time showing them some cool things (Chihuly glass, an incredble Western art--fine art--museum, the Winnie Mae plane that Wiley Post flew 'round the world in 8 days) and some intense things (the Murrah Building Memorial to the OKC bombing) and a revitalized and beautiful, thriving downtown that is completely PAID FOR. I've had people tell me they are sorry for me that I live here, but ya know, as long as they got Guinness here, it's okay with me! I'm not being deprived, let me tell you. And if you are a football nut, this is the place to be. I'm not, but I love the Big Sky and the red dirt. (and it's cheap to live here.)
It's been a crazy couple of years, and I want to reassure you that the hardest part--the not-knowing, the no-logic/no solution part of living since 2007-- is going to shift in January to bring a year of opportunities for all of us. We just have to make it through November and December, and the end of the year promises to be a testy time with friends and loved ones. For some of you, it will bring you to the breaking point, and for others, it will force you to expand and grow! And I mean more than just the waistline! As they say, when one door closes, another one opens, and although there will be some door slamming this holiday season, there's going to be some great wide open spaces coming in January, and we'll all feel some relief that we haven't felt for two and a half years.
Yes, we still have some pressures, but the sun's gonna shine, and the trees are gonna bud for us sooner rather than later, so have hope!
That said, with the rocky rockin' holidays ahead of us, please do your best to be kind to the people not only in your home but also on the frontlines of retail and service occupations. I just finished a one and a half year stint in a service occupation call center doing tech support, and it wasn't pretty. Sometimes those people who you hang up on, swear at, or get frustrated with are struggling to help you and to hang onto a job. I received weeks of training, but nothing could have prepared me for the things I heard on the other end of the phone--- people having sex, physical abuse, even kidnapping--while on the phone! I learned swear words I never knew, and, true to call center protocol, continued to say, please, thank you, yes sir, no ma'am while customers screamed threats at their children, employees, and me. Never hung up.
What I want you to know is how difficult that job can be. In that environment, our tools for helping you the customer were so poorly configured, it was like searching for a needle in a haystack to get the answer to your issues. Not your problem, I know, but it definitely was OUR problem, and we got very little help to solve the issues. We spent alot of time trying to teach customers to say we solved something we didn't solve! (surveys, ya know!) The people who fix your TVs, computers, websites, and phones over the airwaves really have to have fabulous memories and amazing mental and emotional stamina. Your service people--even the ones helping you with your catalog or online orders--are being timed, listened to, recorded, browbeaten, and pressured at work to sell or be fired, fix it or be fired. Try fixing a network from your chair at home in front of the TV. Can't do it? Why not?
Because we all know we're asking the wrong person to fix it. I think that's the worst thing--not the being timed, not even being pressured by bosses and abused verbally by customers. Unless you are an engineer, you can't conceive of the sequence of myriad technical events that have to occur to enable me and you to get on the web to search something or make a phone call in 2 seconds. Folks, I wish I could have helped you. We all wish we could have helped you. And you really made my day when I was able to help you. But life in those jobs is hell. It's like being in prison. You are locked inside this building, being taped, recorded, video-ed, eavesdropped, written up, punished, threatened, taped, recorded, and threatened again. And that's even if you ARE doing your job, showing up to work, and being friendly and helpful to customers and fixing their problems. And not hanging up.
Next time you grouch because of a long line or having to repeat something or because a customer service person doesn't seem to understand you, please be kind. First off, maybe they really don't understand you!!! It's not their fault that the company out-sourced. It's not their fault that the company fired all the knowledgeable people for ridiculous reasons and provided the newcomers with a maze of indecipherable tools. It's no reason to yell, because getting louder doesn't make anyone understand you better. No reason to swear, because swearing isn't explaining the problem. No reason to grouch, because you're wasting everyone's time, including yours. Explain it again, and if that doesn't work, ask for your service person to get help from their supervisor. Be a kinder, gentler customer. Your customer service rep may have had bad news today, may be pressured, and may be just plain tired after a hard day. Wouldn't you want the same respect?
I have been in customer service industries a long long time, so I can be critical of certain behaviors too (like someone not doing their job), but if a person is trying, please give them a break and also mention your gratefulness for their efforts. It goes a long way towards making all of our days better ones. And you know, we can even use the tactics called kindness and patience at home! Think how that could change the stress of this holiday season!
That said---
Have a wonderful holiday! Yes, I'll say it, Happy Holiday! Merry Christmas! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy New Year! Happy Yule! Happy Hannukah! (I'm not being politically correct. I'm just being NICE. How 'bout you?)
Love ya (truly), Andrea
the Booklady
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